Hi Everyone! I know its been awhile since I posted here, but I've been ridiculously busy!

Since I last posted about my sister and her impending Cancer battle, chemo, etc., I've made several trips to see her. She doesn't need anyone to take care of her now since she is all healed from her 2 surgeries, but she does need someone to help heal her mind. I want to spend as much time as possible with her right now, support her, laugh with her. After all, there is so much uncertainty on how the chemo is going to affect her - will she be horribly sick? Will she hurt so bad she has to drug herself up with pain killers? What will be her quality of life as these treatments progress? None of this is known yet - but the results of these will start pouring in after today. This is the day we have all been anxiously awaiting and dreading - the day she starts 15-18 months worth of Chemo treatments.

I can't imagine the uncertainty she must be feeling today - and honestly, I don't want to. She has to be asking herself the above questions. She has to wonder how she is going to make it money-wise while she is going through all of this. One thing I did not mention before - she was laid off back in December. This is what has happened to her since being laid off - full hysterectomy, appendectomy, cancer diagnosis, now 1 1/2 years of treatment. Wouldn't that be overwhelming and full of uncertainty for you? I know it would me!

She just got a job she can do from home, but this job is not guaranteed money - but its something. BUT, how many days a week will she feel able to do it? Who knows. Will she lose her car and have to depend on transportation from other people to get her to the 5 appointments she will have every week?? Will she be able to pay what is sure to be mounting medical bills? The fact that she has to go through so much for so long is only the beginning. What happens at the end of it? She has to start all over again - literally. Having been out of the workplace for 2 years by then, well, we know how that goes.

I wish I could be with her every day from now until this is over. Of course, that isn't possible. I have lots of kids and tons of responsibilities right now myself. But how thankful am I that I'm healthy and able to do it? Immensely, overwhelmingly thankful!!

I wish I could take her pain away, fix her problems, pay her bills, help her with money, heal her head and heart - but I can't. What I can do is BE there. Be there for support, be someone to yell at when she gets frustrated, be someone to laugh with and lean on. Do I feel like that is enough? Nope - not at all. But, its all I have to give.

So on this day when my family embarks on what, in the least will be a difficult 18 months, I ask everyone out there to say a little prayer. A little prayer for my sister, a prayer for my family and a prayer for her friends as we try to help her through this.

Happy Friday and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

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For those of you that know me really well, you know I'm not a particularly religious person.  I have my own relationship with God and I choose not to have religious discussions with others.  Sometimes, I'm not able to clearly put into words how I feel and its taken as "she doesn't believe in God".  Just so you know, this is not at all the case - I just don't believe in the "traditional" way. Please take what I'm about to write as feelings being put down on paper - and honesty.  Its sure to raise all types of opinions, but that isn't the purpose. The purpose is to see the other side of things - a side that as a parent, you may not see clearly sometimes in regards to your children.

When I was growing up, we were force fed organized religion, went to church every Sunday, sang in the choir, etc. -  it was something that good people did!  It was also used as a punishment when I got myself into some trouble (but I won't go into that right now!).  I never, ever liked the church we attended and always felt a little out of place.  It was a like a fashion show for the ladies - who was wearing the nicest dress that Sunday.  Being the youngest of 5 children and not particularly "well off", we obviously were not the ones that had the nicest outfits.  If you were the younger of the sexes, you wore hand me downs, if you were the oldest, mom made your clothes - so it was kind of a no-win situation!  Just so you know, I'm not knocking the clothes mom!!  And honestly, I didn't start recognizing what the feeling of dread was until I started to get into my pre-teen years - it was then I started to realize that I was being talked about (and laughed at) because of what I wore!  Are you kidding me?  We are in church!  Shouldn't we be able to wear our most tattered clothing into the house of God and be accepted? The answer to that (at least in my young mind), was a resounding NO! You must dress your best, everything "just so" to be accepted.  Not to be accepted by God, but accepted by the church-goers.  But isn't that the primary reason most people attend church?  To communion with others?  To be accepted with no strings attached?  I think it is supposed to be that way, and is for so many people, but it was not for me.

As I grew older and had my own children, I decided that they had the right to decide if they wanted to attend church, youth groups, etc.   I enrolled them in a church pre-school, started to attend some church services intermidantly, so they could have that experience and decide for themselves what they thought and believed.  I did not want my bad experience to taint what could be a wonderful experience for them. Slowly but surely, they started to attend church and youth groups with friends and I'll be quite honest, I was relieved that I did not have to be the one to instill the religious values.  I've always instilled good values, but with my strange relationship with God, I didn't feel that I was the right person to sway them one way or the other.

I've been so happy to see them attending churches where they can dress as they like - in jeans if they want to.  They have bands that play and separate services for adults and youth - each service geared to particular issues within the groups.  They go on mission trips and help others in need - and they come home fulfilled about what they have done.  They enjoy it!  If church had been like that when I was growing up, I would surely have a different view of organized religion. I'm thrilled they enjoy it and happy in my decision to let them make "their" decision.

I'm sure you are asking yourself, "did I change my view yet?"  Not really - I wish I had and one day, I might.  What I do know is that I believe in God, I believe in the power of prayer and I'm OK with my views at the moment.  Will it change one day, I'm not sure.  Do I need it to change to be happy? Nope.  As I said before, I have my own relationship with God and I feel like I can talk to him/her standing in my bathroom if I want to.  And I can pray anywhere and anytime.  Thats all I need for now.

So on this Easter Sunday, I pray that you all have a life that if full, friends that are plentiful, and lots of good health and happiness!

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Yesterday was  a whirlwind and it seems like a dream - unfortunately it wasn't.  The events of yesterday have been swirling around in my head all night, making any sort of peaceful sleep impossible.  So here I sit wanting to spill it all on paper.  Write it down to make sure its real and true.  I know it is - I was there when the doctor said those words - " It is Cancer".

I was the designated "make sure you get all the information written down" person.  So there I sat, feverishly trying to write down what the doctor was saying and at the same time trying to process it. The type of Cancer - Primary Peritoneal Cancer - Stage 3C.   The different treatment options, how long each would take, what will she feel, how will she react?  In between listening and writing, I'm looking at my sister.  You would think the look on her face would be that of disbelief.  A look of "I can't believe this is happening to me" - but it wasn't.  I think she knew it wasn't going to be good news even before the doctor said anything - because if I'm being honest, I felt the same way.  I tend to do that - go in thinking the absolute worst, so that it can't be half as bad as expected.  That didn't work for me yesterday.  It was more than half as bad, it was the worst - the worst day I can remember in a very long time.  My sister, my best friend, has Cancer.

I had decided before I went in there that I WAS NOT going to cry.  In the room with us were my sisters daughter, son and partner.  All getting the news at the same time.  I pretty much knew what the reaction would be of the people in the room and I knew that I needed to be as calm as possible.  I needed to be able to hear the information, process it and pass it on.  But in between taking it all in, jotting everything down, I would look at my sister - the tears started to stream and it was beyond heartbreaking.

After the doctor gave us the diagnosis, he asked if we had any questions.  I had 2 very specific and decided to ask the easiest first.  (1) Where, exactly, did the Cancer start? Good news there - It started in the peritonial and it isn't expected to have started anywhere else. (2) What is the prognosis?  Isn't this the question everyone wants to know the most?  What are the chances of survival?   Do I have to worry about NOT having my precious sister here with me?  I guess if you are going to have Cancer, the prognosis is as good as to be expected. Remission rate - 50-75%, Cure rate - Very Low - 10%.  Personally, I'm going with the remission rate since I like those odds!

The next hour was filled with calling loved ones to let them know what was going on. I had to call my parents and siblings.  Not exactly what I wanted to do, but I knew I was the best one to do it, so I did.  Calling your parents to tell them that one of their daughters has Cancer - well lets just say it is not a good experience.  My mother couldn't form an actual sentence to ask questions - God, I can't imagine what she must have been thinking and feeling. Parents are supposed to die before children - my mom has said that a million times, but I can imagine this exact phrase is running through her mind right now. I felt the tears about to start, but choked them back and moved on to my next call.

My oldest sister.  The rock, the constant, the one that can deal with anything.  Isn't it funny how people are labeled?  We even label our own siblings!  But in this case, it is true.  I imagine that my oldest sister could handle just about anything.  We are very much alike - hard on the outside, mushy on the inside.  I think we could both deal with just about anything - but this, well, this won't be as easy. She asked questions, she is thinking positive and that is that! Exactly how I am dealing  with it.  Give me the facts Jack!

The next few hours were filled with phone calls, visits, tears, and lots of laughs.  Talk of shaving heads, wig and hat parties and tattoos.  After everyone left, I kissed my sister goodnight and went to lay down.  All of the events of the day came out in a flood of tears.  Tears that I thought would never stop.  It can't possibly be that my sister, my best friend, my FOREVER friend has Cancer! But the tears did stop and they will stay that way.  No more crying - I'm done now.  Now is the time to pull myself up by the bootstraps and figure out how I'm going to help my sister through this and get her healthy again!

My sister mentioned that she would like to color some easter eggs.  So shortly I'm out the door to find the girliest pink easter basket, egg dye and all the trimmings for an old time easter basket.  We will do some kid stuff this afternoon.  And laugh.  And act stupid I'm sure.  But that is what she needs right now.  That is what I need right now.  We will turn our thoughts to simple things for a few precious hours and not think about what is ahead.  There is time tomorrow for that.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and I ask that you continue to pray for her health to return.  It means more than you could know.

Make sure today, that you give a big kiss and hug to those that mean the most.  They need it - you need it.  And make sure you do it every day you can.

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Yes, I'm a little bummed today.

I'm taking my twins to a freshman orientation for high school tonight.  UGH - high school?  When did that happen?  Can this be possible?  My twins are my youngest, so the fact that they will be entering high school next year just means that its almost over.  All my children will be gone soon - we all know how quickly 4 years goes by.  Looking at them right now, it doesn't seem possible that they could be going into high school - they still seem like little kids to me!  But I know they aren't.  I've seen it coming.  The maturity level in how they handle situations has changed dramatically in the past year.  Their concern over things like what they want to study in college, where they want to go, etc.  No longer do they say, "Mommy, what do you think I should be when I grow up?"  Now its, "I'm thinking I want to be an Engineer. What classes should I take for that?"  Discussions about talking to your counselor and making good friends with them so they can help you make those decisions.  My head starts to spin just thinking about it.

Our family has a couple of big milestones this school year.  First, my twins will be graduating from middle school - then off to high school.  My oldest will be graduating from high school and moving onto college.  The first week of June is going to be nothing short of gut-wrenching for me.  I'm going to be a total wreck!  For those that know me well, they know I don't cry.  It happens very rarely and only if I'm mad to the point I can't control it, or sad to the point I can't control it!  I'm hard on the outside, mushy on the inside.  Needless to say I'm not looking forward to June and I must prepare by buying mucho kleenex!  I'm going to need it.

In addition to the freshman orientation tonight, I received an email yesterday about my twins registering for drivers ed this summer!  You have got to be kidding!  To me, they don't seem like they could see over the steering wheel - LOL!  But again, they are bigger than I perceive and they can see over it - I would just prefer they didn't.  All four of my kids driving - OH GAWD!

This brings so many things into view.  We have seven kids (four mine, three his).  His two older sons are in college already, but his youngest son will graduate next year.  So this is how it pans out with graduations. My oldest this year, his youngest next year, another of my daughters the next year - then we have a one year reprieve, then the twins graduate. The next few years are going to be sad, but on the other hand, great! We will have lots of graduations and milestones watching our children form into contributing adults (at least we hope so!).  Moving onto their own careers, lives and families. I hope by that time I've instilled all the good traits I have to offer!  Maybe one of them will go on to change the world!  We will have an empty home and can, at last, sell everything we have and buy that little cottage on the water - RIGHT!   I'm not sure I'm prepared for all of this, but life moves on.

On another note, I'll be posting again today about my coupon binder.  I'm psyched!

I'm going to go ahead and  give you a quote for today.  Its not really a quote, but the words from a song.  It sums up everything I hope for my children.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill, But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leaves you empty handed
I hope you still feel small, When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance!

Happy Thursday!

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Brace Face - not nice, huh?  Well, I had to get the twins up and at'em extremely early this morning due to orthodontic appointments starting at 6:45 a.m. Yes, I said 6:45 AM! Good Lord - why on earth would you want to look at teeth that early? Oh well, it worked out good cause I got them to school well before the 1st bell. We did not, however, get good news. My son has to have braces. In addition to that, he has 2 teeth in the roof of his mouth that will need to be pulled down via oral surgery. I knew he would need to have braces and he would have had them by now, but we were waiting on these 2 teeth to come down. That ain't gonna happen! So, on with the braces tomorrow, oral surgery in about 6-8 months. What I didn't think was going to happen is the length of time the braces will be on. I thought his would be the easiest of all 4 kids, but nope, he comes in 2nd in difficulty. He will have them on anywhere from 2 1/2 - 3 years! Poor thing - he goes to high school next year and isn't at all happy about the braces thing. But, he sucked it up and asked for the soonest appointment, which is 8:15 tomorrow morning. Good for him for having a good attitude about it. I told him it would only make him better looking His twin sister just had hers removed last week, so that just adds to the amount of frustration he has! I'm quite sure his 3 sisters will give him hell. He has dished out enough, time to take it now!

I'm steadily moving towards my coupon quest and I'm downloading and clipping tons of them. I've gotten a system in order to collect and organize them (which I'll expand on in another post), have my subscription to the newspaper that starts this weekend, and by next week, I plan to go on my first coupon adventure. Guess we shall see how this goes. As I've been collecting and organizing, I realized this is a very tedious task. For those people that know me, you know I'm not into "tedious". Tedious includes such things as knitting, cross stitch, scrap booking, sewing of any kind, and anything that might be included in the monotonous category. I have the attention span of a flea (not that I know about their attention span, but people say that all the time!). I need to have my mind challenged or I'll go insane. I have to say, this is definitely going to challenge me, I'm just not sure its in the way I would like. But, I'm going to do it and I plan to do it well! That's the plan anyway.

As I stated before, I've been reading a ton about saving money and one of the best resources I've come across is The Coupon Mom.  She has loads of information on her site for free.  As with most of these sites, it is a little busy and hard to maneuver, but once you get to the meat of it, it is the most helpful site I've come across.  So many of these sites want you to spend money to get the information, which makes no sense to me.  I'm there to save money - why would I want to give you my money??  I understand ads on your website - we all gotta make a buck where we can.  But there is absolutely no way I'm paying anyone to give me information that you can find for free elsewhere.  I did come across a pretty neat application for the organization of your coupons vs the stores in your area.  It is a little pricey, but I've emailed the owner to see if they would be willing to let me test it out for free and post a review on my site.  If they are smart, they will let me.  Its free advertising, right??   If it works the way they say, it could save you tons of time and could quite possibly be worth the price.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Now that my basement is clean, I can actually get to all the miscellaneous paint cans I have down there.  I plan to see what I can mix together and paint my bathroom.  We have so much paint that it seems stupid to go buy any for the bathroom.  I would prefer to go pick a color, but I'm not gonna.  The bathroom needs a good coat of paint and any color will do at the moment!   Now to get the rest of the wallpaper off said bathroom walls so I can actually paint!  ARGH - I hate this part - but the most of it is done and has been sitting there like that for 3 months.  You think it might be time to finish it up?!

Guess that's it for now.  I'm going to try and give you a quote every day.  I came across this one and thought it was so true!

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Happy Monday!

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The weather yesterday was unseasonably warm and what did I decide to get done??  Clean the basement! UGH!  This is a chore that we complete about once a year although it should be done more often.  It had gotten so bad down there that you could barely walk through without being molested by a bike pedal or extension cord!  I talked a couple of weeks ago about holding onto stuff we don't need and mentioned a table that my youngest daughter wanted that was in the garage.  Guess what?!  It isn't there anymore!  WOOHOO!  My step son moved into his first apartment on Friday and we gave it to them with a stipulation.  DO NOT ever get rid of it!  I don't care what it looks like, but you better give it back when you are done.  For what reason?  Well, it was the only way I could get my daughter to agree to let it go - LOL!  She would not have been so understanding about anyone else having the table, but for her oldest step brother, its all good.  She loves him to death and trusts that the table will come back again - and so do I. 

About the garage cleaning - This time is was not (we) that cleaned it, but (I) that cleaned it - all by my lonesome.  I was perfectly fine with that.  Sometimes it is nice to just have some time completely alone - even if it is while cleaning out a dirty, gross, dusty, spider-ridden basement!  My hubby put his gorgeous Rousch Mustang out on the lawn and gave it a good cleaning and waxing while I was doing the basement.  That baby of his comes first!   He is too funny with that car!  I wasted no time with the cleaning.  I wasn't down there to do the whole "look through every box thing" - I was all about getting as many boxes behind closed doors, and picking up all the miscellaneous trash that had accumulated.  My goal was met!  Its so clean and open in there it looks like a ball room.  Oh, how I can't wait until all the kids are in college so I can knock down a wall and have a pool table and bar down there. Oh yeah!

I did, however come across alot of old pictures while cleaning - pictures that I've been looking for a long time.  I plan to scan some of said pictures for black mail purposes!  (This is for you Leslie, so I hope you are reading this!)  These are pictures from junior high, but first I must weed through them and put all the ones of me with my flip, feather bangs to the side.   What was up with the hairstyles in 1978-79?  Good Lord!  I could have poked someones eye out with the points of some of those flips!

Speaking of my step son moving into his own apartment - we also gave him the furniture that we had downstairs in the den.  I've had this stuff for about 12 years.  It was the first thing I was able to afford to buy when I split up from ex-husband.  I had an old futon in our dinky living room and that was about it and I had no money to buy anything.  I put it on layaway and paid monthly until I could get it paid off and delivered.  I remember the day they delivered that furniture like it was yesterday.  Believe it or not, it was one of my "success" moments.  A moment I felt like I had really accomplished something.  Seeing new furniture delivered and watching my small children jump up and down on it like it was a Christmas present - well, I still have pictures of that day.  Simple thing getting new furniture and something a lot of people take for granted.  For me, it was another defining moment, a moment where I was moving ahead, putting that one foot in front of the other.  And just like that, POOF, it was gone.  I felt stupid for being upset about it and I didn't tell a soul - until now.  It was old and worn out from all the kids, parties and such.  But what memories that furniture holds for me are in my heart.  My step son will go on to have good memories with that furniture also.  Memories of his new place, his freedom.  He will one day look back on that worn out furniture the way I looked at my old futon.  And when he dispenses of it, it will be a step forward for him.  And life moves on.....

So, on our "Spring Forward" day, let all take a spring forward into new memories.  Here's to all the new ones!

Cheers! Happy Sunday!

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Well, its Friday and I'm super proud of myself because I managed to post every single day this week! I'm going to take a break from money saving this morning and talk a bit about something more personal - Kids, how they effect you and vice versa.

I get wrapped up in "just living", instead of "living my life". There is a big difference between the two and I'm sure you know what I mean, especially if you have children. You are busy all the time, running to work, running to the store, running to doctors appointments, running to sporting events - always running! You turn around one day and another year has gone by. You hear people say it all the time - "Where did the time go?" or when referring to your children, "Enjoy it now, they'll be gone before you know it". When I was a young mother, I remember my mother, aunts and grandma talking about enjoying your kids now, because they grow up so fast. Personally, at that time, I couldn't wait for them to grow up and stop all that incessant crying! I was worn out and sometimes, just didn't see the beauty in what was happening right in front of my eyes. My kids were growing, going through all the amazing stages. Learning to roll over, pull up on a couch, and take their first steps. And one day it hit me - my God, I actually carried that child, it formed in me, and now, its a little living, walking, burping and pooping child! I don't know what caused the turn around in me, but I remember it happening like it was yesterday. I always said I would never be a mom because I just wasn't "suited" for it. I learned that day that I was not only suited to be a mom, but I was a pretty good one at that!

My children think I'm a pretty "cool" mom. I've thought a lot about this distinction. When I was a teenager, a "cool" mom was a mom that didn't get in your business, left you alone, let you roam the streets anytime you wanted to, and it was always the house you wanted to spend the night at because you could sneak out of the house in the middle of the night! Ok - I'm NOT that mom! I don't know if I want to be the cool mom! Below are the reasons I think I'm really NOT the cool mom!

• I'm the mom that wants to know what is going on in your life and although I don't get all in their business, I do ask questions - a lot. I found by asking questions, you can slowly get much more information from your kids than if you DEMAND answers. Hence, my kids tell me everything - sometimes too much! I like it that way though. I'm not going to judge them, but it is an opportunity to talk to them with an open mind, tell them how you feel about situations, and help them to make better decisions in the future. We can't control our kids. If we try to do that, we are asking for big trouble later in life.
• I also keep up with my kids grades EVERY day! Thankfully, I can look online at their grades and keep up with where they are not doing too well or just slacking. When I see a bad grade, I immediately talk to them about it, ask what the problem is and try to figure out what we can do to fix it. My dad demanded good grades, and I mean GOOD grades. Thankfully, I got them, but there was a time when I made my first (and only!) C. I won't go into the entire story, but needless to say it did not go over well with my dad. In his eyes, I was lazy and not applying myself. In my eyes, I was overwhelmed and needed help. No one asked me if I needed help, so I spiraled into this "bad kid". I figure, if he thinks C's constitute a bad kid, just wait and see, I'll show him what a bad kid is! And I did. I don't want that to happen to my kids.
• I demand respect from my kids - plain and simple.  I refuse to have it any other way.  There will be no yelling at me, walking away from me when I'm speaking, or eye rolling - UGH, while we are on that subject, my kids know that if I see an eye-roll, there's gonna be some eyes rolling on the floor!  They might as well flip me the bird because its the same thing.  So, it doesn't happen in this house!  This is something you have to stay on top of though.  You can't let it lax and you can't get into an argument with them. I will not argue with my children and they know that what I say goes, period.  There are no other options.

So having said all of that, do I sound like a cool mom?  I changed my mind last night and I think I am, and here is the reason.  I talked in another post about my kids grades not being up to par right now.  I've given them the opportunity to deal with this on their own, figure out what the problem is and ask for help if needed.  For the most part, its going pretty well and grades are getting better.  But last night I had to bear down on one my kids and start taking things away from them.  Things they love more than life itself - phone and internet.  Phone is staying with me and internet is no longer until the grades come up.  I was expecting a brooding, sulky teenager to emerge from this discussion, but guess what, it didn't happen!  My child not only agreed with me, but further went on to say that they knew they weren't trying their hardest, were slacking, knew they could do better. They understood why I was taking these things away.  Imagine that - a teenager that understands and agrees with the punishment!  Not only that, this child came up about an hour later and asked me to quiz them for a test.  This from a child who hasn't done that in ages.

After said child left the room, I sat and thought a lot about what had just transpired in the last 2 hours. I had taken away the things they loved the most, yet they had risen to the occasion and not only moved in a direction to fix it, they asked for help.  Isn't this how you want your kids to be?  I know I do.  This is when I realized that if being a "cool" mom means staying on top of things, demanding respect and asking lots of questions, then I am exactly that!  So, I'm embracing my "mom coolness" now!  They still won't be roaming the streets in the middle of the night though

Happy Friday!

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As I stated in one of my previous posts about cutting coupons, while I was out of town last week I started making a list of things we could do to cut some costs.  Coupon cutting (and using!) is my first step.  This will be the hardest one and I'm slowly working towards it. Early this morning I started working on the other items.

• Health and Dental Insurance - Since we are unemployed and run our own business, we have to have independent health care which is very expensive.  Our premium just went up another $50 and has reached $600 a month.  Utterly ridiculous for 2 people, but we have to keep the insurance.  Thankfully, my ex husband carries the kids on his health insurance and I carry the dental for $110 a month for all six of us.  I was looking at a total of $710 a month for insurance - crazy I say, crazy!  I decided this morning to downgrade our health insurance.  Bigger deductibles, etc., but the health insurance premium went down to $397.  I really did not want to do this, but its necessary and I guess we will deal with the deductible when it happens.  Oh well, such is life, right?!
• Phone Costs - Everyone in our house has a cell phone - adults and kids.  I feel that the cell phones are a necessity these days and it makes it easy and convenient to keep up my kids at all times.  This is something I refuse to get rid of!   We all have texting and long distance as part of our plan, so there is no need to have all the bells and whistles on our home phone.  We don't have all of that, and our home phone bill is still $50 a month.  Again, ridiculous!  I can count on one hand the number of times we have actually used the home phone in the past few months.  It is literally, never used.  I would prefer to get rid of it altogether, but decided against that in case one of the kids is home alone and God forbid they have an emergency and their cell phones aren't charged (not that this would ever happen of course, right!).  I decided to get rid of the Bellsouth home phone and get digital phone through the cable company instead.  With our current plan we will only have to pay $19.99 a month and it won't change after 12 months.  This is a much better price for something we rarely ever use!
• Internet Costs - Due to the nature of our business, we need to have the best internet plan.  Web site development is not conducive to slow internet!!  Currently, we have 2 different plans - one for the kids and one just for us because we use so much bandwidth.  As of tomorrow, this will be ended.  Hubby is going to run all the new lines throughout the house and we will only have one plan with Roadrunner.  I'm cancelling the other plan at a savings of $42 a month.  It will probably make it a little more difficult in the evening when everyone is home and on the computer, but we will live!
• Cutting down on power usage - I'm going to follow the recommendations of some of my friends over on Facebook and start unplugging things that aren't being used and making sure to turn off lights and TV's when not in a room.  I have no idea how much this will save, but it can't hurt and its good for the environment to cut down on power usage!

These are the things I've done this morning to cut costs.  I have a whole list of things to work on, but these are done OR in the process.  I'm taking baby steps, putting one foot in front of the other, and moving towards making our budget more manageable.  I'm moving forward instead of backward - thats about all I can do at the moment!

Happy Wednesday

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Like most Americans, my grocery bill is outrageous and out of control!  With so many people in the house, its difficult to even keep the fridge full!  I'm sure you have all felt this way. You go to the store, purchase what you think are your groceries for the week, only to see them disappear in 2 days.  You are then back at the store, "picking up a few things".  Those few things turn into $100 and you are like, I KNOW I didn't just spend $250 on groceries in 3 days!! I HATE going to the grocery store - it is by far, the worst "chore" I have!  I would rather flush the money down the toilet cause that is where it goes anyway.

While I was out of town and taking care of my sister last week, I had a lot of time to think - WARNING - this can be dangerous!  I was thinking about cutting out wasteful spending and believe me, we have ALOT of it.  I can't count on both hands and feet how many things were running through my mind that we need to work on.  So I started writing them down.  I wrote them down because it just isn't enough to pay the bills every month and be reminded - LOL!  So as of Monday, I'm on a mission.  A mission to start cutting these things, one by one, until we have a more manageable budget.  A budget would be a nice thing.

A little history - years ago I found myself in the middle of a nasty divorce,  a single mother of 4 children (under the age of 6 at the time), a mountain of bills and moving into a 2 bedroom home - and I didn't have a job.  Was I in a mess or what?!  Could I have sunk into a depression and given up - absolutely!  Did I?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  I had these 4 beautiful children, and regardless of the circumstances, they needed to feel loved and taken care of.  So, I pulled up my boot straps and got to work - literally!  I interviewed like a fiend - interviewing for any job that would bring money into my house and help us survive.  I was truly blessed to get offered a job at Gateway Computer at the lowest level you could start there.  It wasn't much money at all - but I was offered the opportunity to work as much over time as I could handle - so I did.  I worked 16 hours a day, spent endless time away from my children, and made some decisions that I still second guess.  In those times that I would break down and cry because I never saw my kids, I reminded myself that I was doing this for them, and that it would pay off one day.  And it did.  Over the course of 6 years, I worked up through the ranks of Gateway, getting one promotion after another, until I was a Regional Manager for Southeast Training Centers! It was a very high point in my career and I was making plenty of money to take care of the kids, paid off all of my debts, bought a new house and found a wonderful man to start over with.  Then I was laid off, and so was my husband within 2 months of each other.  Bummer.  What to do?

Thankfully, both my husband and I already had side businesses that we had built over the years - all dealing with computers, web development, etc.  This has sustained us well until the economy started to plummet.  No longer was building a website a priority for companies.  This is something that can wait until the economy climbs back out of the black hole.  So here we are, both with a tremendous amount of talent, in a business that people no longer see as a priority.  So, the debts are starting to mount again and it seems it happened overnight.  It didn't - we just didn't see it coming.  This is where we are now.  We certainly aren't destitute - we just need to cut some things - so here we go!

Our biggest expense that can be cut, by far, is the grocery bill.  So starting tomorrow, I'm on a mission to cut this.  I'm reading everything I can about how to cut the bill and I promise, I'm going to do it!  My next posts are going to be about what I'm doing to cut it.  If you have any ideas, please, please share.  I need all the help I can get!

Happy Sunday and enjoy the snow if you want it - if you don't - Sorry!!

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I'm currently in Greenville, SC taking care of my sister who is recovering from a hysterectomy.  I love being here to help and it makes me feel needed.  You're probably thinking, "how can I possibly not feel needed when I have seven kids?"  Thats tricky.

All of my kids are over 14 years old, so they really don't need me for much anymore - unless it is monetary or they need a ride somewhere!  They don't need me to feed or bathe them, make their lunch or wash their clothes. Don't get me wrong, I'm still the maid, the cook, the taxi driver, and the ATM - but this does not mean I'm really needed.  I understand that if I didn't cook dinner every night, my family would eat out and not eat well - but eating a home cooked meal is really a "want", not a "need".  They don't need to eat at home, but they want to and prefer to - hence the reason I cook.  But it still doesn't mean I'm "needed".   All of these things they could either do themselves or find someone else to do them. I do it because I love them.

I confess, I pretty much wait on my husband hand and foot - not because he expects it, but because I like to do it. He could make his own lunch, wash his clothes and put them up, and make his own brownies and ice cream, but I get a small measure of joy in doing these things for him. It still doesn't mean I'm "needed" and I do it because I love him.

What I'm getting at is this, my sister can't wash her clothes, change the sheets on her bed, or make her own dinner right now. She NEEDS me.  Can other people help do these things for her, of course.  Would she enjoy it as much, probably not.  I've already been threatened to be sent home cause she is laughing so much she is going to pull her stitches out!  Laughter is the best medicine, right?! I do it because I love her, but also because I'm needed - so its a bit of selfishness on my part.

So, even if I'm not able to kiss the boo boos and clean up the scraps on the knee for my kids, I'll still be the cook, the maid, the taxi driver and the ATM until they don't need it anymore.  If it means I still get to see and be with my family, then I'm OK with that - although it would be nice to feel needed every now and then.

Happy Mothering!

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