Yes, I'm a little bummed today.

I'm taking my twins to a freshman orientation for high school tonight.  UGH - high school?  When did that happen?  Can this be possible?  My twins are my youngest, so the fact that they will be entering high school next year just means that its almost over.  All my children will be gone soon - we all know how quickly 4 years goes by.  Looking at them right now, it doesn't seem possible that they could be going into high school - they still seem like little kids to me!  But I know they aren't.  I've seen it coming.  The maturity level in how they handle situations has changed dramatically in the past year.  Their concern over things like what they want to study in college, where they want to go, etc.  No longer do they say, "Mommy, what do you think I should be when I grow up?"  Now its, "I'm thinking I want to be an Engineer. What classes should I take for that?"  Discussions about talking to your counselor and making good friends with them so they can help you make those decisions.  My head starts to spin just thinking about it.

Our family has a couple of big milestones this school year.  First, my twins will be graduating from middle school - then off to high school.  My oldest will be graduating from high school and moving onto college.  The first week of June is going to be nothing short of gut-wrenching for me.  I'm going to be a total wreck!  For those that know me well, they know I don't cry.  It happens very rarely and only if I'm mad to the point I can't control it, or sad to the point I can't control it!  I'm hard on the outside, mushy on the inside.  Needless to say I'm not looking forward to June and I must prepare by buying mucho kleenex!  I'm going to need it.

In addition to the freshman orientation tonight, I received an email yesterday about my twins registering for drivers ed this summer!  You have got to be kidding!  To me, they don't seem like they could see over the steering wheel - LOL!  But again, they are bigger than I perceive and they can see over it - I would just prefer they didn't.  All four of my kids driving - OH GAWD!

This brings so many things into view.  We have seven kids (four mine, three his).  His two older sons are in college already, but his youngest son will graduate next year.  So this is how it pans out with graduations. My oldest this year, his youngest next year, another of my daughters the next year - then we have a one year reprieve, then the twins graduate. The next few years are going to be sad, but on the other hand, great! We will have lots of graduations and milestones watching our children form into contributing adults (at least we hope so!).  Moving onto their own careers, lives and families. I hope by that time I've instilled all the good traits I have to offer!  Maybe one of them will go on to change the world!  We will have an empty home and can, at last, sell everything we have and buy that little cottage on the water - RIGHT!   I'm not sure I'm prepared for all of this, but life moves on.

On another note, I'll be posting again today about my coupon binder.  I'm psyched!

I'm going to go ahead and  give you a quote for today.  Its not really a quote, but the words from a song.  It sums up everything I hope for my children.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill, But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leaves you empty handed
I hope you still feel small, When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance!

Happy Thursday!

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Well, its Friday and I'm super proud of myself because I managed to post every single day this week! I'm going to take a break from money saving this morning and talk a bit about something more personal - Kids, how they effect you and vice versa.

I get wrapped up in "just living", instead of "living my life". There is a big difference between the two and I'm sure you know what I mean, especially if you have children. You are busy all the time, running to work, running to the store, running to doctors appointments, running to sporting events - always running! You turn around one day and another year has gone by. You hear people say it all the time - "Where did the time go?" or when referring to your children, "Enjoy it now, they'll be gone before you know it". When I was a young mother, I remember my mother, aunts and grandma talking about enjoying your kids now, because they grow up so fast. Personally, at that time, I couldn't wait for them to grow up and stop all that incessant crying! I was worn out and sometimes, just didn't see the beauty in what was happening right in front of my eyes. My kids were growing, going through all the amazing stages. Learning to roll over, pull up on a couch, and take their first steps. And one day it hit me - my God, I actually carried that child, it formed in me, and now, its a little living, walking, burping and pooping child! I don't know what caused the turn around in me, but I remember it happening like it was yesterday. I always said I would never be a mom because I just wasn't "suited" for it. I learned that day that I was not only suited to be a mom, but I was a pretty good one at that!

My children think I'm a pretty "cool" mom. I've thought a lot about this distinction. When I was a teenager, a "cool" mom was a mom that didn't get in your business, left you alone, let you roam the streets anytime you wanted to, and it was always the house you wanted to spend the night at because you could sneak out of the house in the middle of the night! Ok - I'm NOT that mom! I don't know if I want to be the cool mom! Below are the reasons I think I'm really NOT the cool mom!

• I'm the mom that wants to know what is going on in your life and although I don't get all in their business, I do ask questions - a lot. I found by asking questions, you can slowly get much more information from your kids than if you DEMAND answers. Hence, my kids tell me everything - sometimes too much! I like it that way though. I'm not going to judge them, but it is an opportunity to talk to them with an open mind, tell them how you feel about situations, and help them to make better decisions in the future. We can't control our kids. If we try to do that, we are asking for big trouble later in life.
• I also keep up with my kids grades EVERY day! Thankfully, I can look online at their grades and keep up with where they are not doing too well or just slacking. When I see a bad grade, I immediately talk to them about it, ask what the problem is and try to figure out what we can do to fix it. My dad demanded good grades, and I mean GOOD grades. Thankfully, I got them, but there was a time when I made my first (and only!) C. I won't go into the entire story, but needless to say it did not go over well with my dad. In his eyes, I was lazy and not applying myself. In my eyes, I was overwhelmed and needed help. No one asked me if I needed help, so I spiraled into this "bad kid". I figure, if he thinks C's constitute a bad kid, just wait and see, I'll show him what a bad kid is! And I did. I don't want that to happen to my kids.
• I demand respect from my kids - plain and simple.  I refuse to have it any other way.  There will be no yelling at me, walking away from me when I'm speaking, or eye rolling - UGH, while we are on that subject, my kids know that if I see an eye-roll, there's gonna be some eyes rolling on the floor!  They might as well flip me the bird because its the same thing.  So, it doesn't happen in this house!  This is something you have to stay on top of though.  You can't let it lax and you can't get into an argument with them. I will not argue with my children and they know that what I say goes, period.  There are no other options.

So having said all of that, do I sound like a cool mom?  I changed my mind last night and I think I am, and here is the reason.  I talked in another post about my kids grades not being up to par right now.  I've given them the opportunity to deal with this on their own, figure out what the problem is and ask for help if needed.  For the most part, its going pretty well and grades are getting better.  But last night I had to bear down on one my kids and start taking things away from them.  Things they love more than life itself - phone and internet.  Phone is staying with me and internet is no longer until the grades come up.  I was expecting a brooding, sulky teenager to emerge from this discussion, but guess what, it didn't happen!  My child not only agreed with me, but further went on to say that they knew they weren't trying their hardest, were slacking, knew they could do better. They understood why I was taking these things away.  Imagine that - a teenager that understands and agrees with the punishment!  Not only that, this child came up about an hour later and asked me to quiz them for a test.  This from a child who hasn't done that in ages.

After said child left the room, I sat and thought a lot about what had just transpired in the last 2 hours. I had taken away the things they loved the most, yet they had risen to the occasion and not only moved in a direction to fix it, they asked for help.  Isn't this how you want your kids to be?  I know I do.  This is when I realized that if being a "cool" mom means staying on top of things, demanding respect and asking lots of questions, then I am exactly that!  So, I'm embracing my "mom coolness" now!  They still won't be roaming the streets in the middle of the night though

Happy Friday!

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Not sure if I mentioned it before, but we have 7 kids - I have 4 and my husband has 3. All four of mine are still in school, but one graduates this year. I have been fairly lucky with my kids in that they are all pretty intelligent and have given me few problems where it comes to school. But this 2nd semester of school has just not started out well at all.  My daughter that graduates this year has already been accepted to many colleges and has always made really good grades - going forward I'll call her G1 . I guess she has come down with a major case of  "senior-itis".  I assume she doesn't understand that when colleges say "contingent upon continuance of grade average" that they mean "keep your grades where they are and no lower".  Her grades are dropping and she doesn't seem to be the least bit concerned. Good Lord - you've gotten through 11 1/2 years of making good grades - is it too much to ask to keep it up for 4 more months?! ARGH!

My 10th grader - lets call her G2 - which has also always made good grades has, now get this, 2 A's (in chorus and horticulture!), 1 C, 1 D and 1 F!!  She has never made a D or F and I think only 2 C's. What the heck is going on?? She says she just hasn't been "getting it", but is doing better. And, oh yeah, she has gotten all A's on her homework - well Whoopie Doo! GEEZ!

Now to the twins - they are in 8th grade.  My boy - lets call him B1 - has always done well in school and his teachers love him. On the flip side, his twin sister - lets call her G3 -  has not always done well and has a very big mouth which tends to get her into a bit of trouble every now and then.  B1's teachers still love him to death, but his grades are horrendous all of a sudden. C's and a D - never would I have imagined this from him and G3, well lets just say C's and D's have now become commonplace. OMG!

I guess at this point you might think that we some sort of major event happen in our home that has adversely affected these children (at least this is what I'm quite sure a psychologist would say!) - but no, nothing, NADA. We have a great relationship, we are very open with each other and myself and my ex husband are great friends - so there is no conflict there. So, anyone wanna chime in and give me their amateur advice?  I need it, badly. OR - maybe a glass of wine!

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